Episode 178

178 - Feel Their Pain And Connect

178 - Feel Their Pain And Connect

In this podcast episode, I talk about the book What's in It for Them?: 9 Genius Networking Principles to Get What You Want by Helping Others Get What They Want By Joe Polish. We explore the importance of understanding people's unique circumstances, which the author calls "atmospheric conditions." As a "pain detective", he says we have to investigate what's genuinely causing people to suffer in their job or daily life. This helps provide better support and build stronger connections with them. By reducing their suffering, we can make their lives better and form collaborative relationships.
Authenticity is key in all our interactions. People can detect inauthenticity quickly. That's why we should always strive to be genuinely interested in solving people's problems. It's not about using skills to gain something in return. It's about building trust, rapport, and comfort with others.
Atmospheric conditions refer to understanding the conditions of someone's life to understand better why they behave the way they do. If someone's going through a tough time at home, it will affect their performance at work. Understanding this can help someone react more appropriately and empathetically towards them, providing better support.
In all our relationships, communication is key. We can choose to communicate and resolve issues, connect and form a bond, or avoid the situation altogether. That's why it's crucial to notice if people are leaning in or pulling back, connecting or disconnecting. Ultimately, understanding people better can help us build stronger, more authentic connections.

https://geniusnetwork.com

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/?p=3854

Jill’s Links

https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com


https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithstartwithsmallstepscast

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps

https://twitter.com/startwithsmallsteps

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

About the Podcast

Show artwork for Start with Small Steps
Start with Small Steps
Thoughtful personal growth through small, realistic steps you can use in everyday life.

Listen for free

About your host

Profile picture for Jill McKinley

Jill McKinley

I’m Jill from the Northwoods. Professionally, I work in Health IT, where I untangle complex systems and help people use technology more effectively. But at heart, I’m a curious lifelong learner—always exploring how things work, why people grow the way they do, and how even the smallest steps can spark real transformation. That curiosity fuels everything I do, from problem-solving at work to sharing insights through my creative projects.

My journey wasn’t always easy. Growing up, I faced a rough childhood, and books became my lifeline. They introduced me to voices of ancient wisdom, modern psychology, and the natural world around me. Those pages taught me resilience, gave me perspective, and helped me see that wisdom is everywhere—waiting to be noticed, gathered, and shared.