267 - Getting Good With Money: Rewriting the Story We Tell Ourselves About Finances

Do you ever wish you could think about money differently? That’s what we’re going to talk about today.

Hi, this is Jill from the Northwoods, trying to make life better one small step at a time.

You know, you might think about the fact that you’re not making enough money, or you might wonder how you’re ever going to save for the things you’ve always dreamed of—going somewhere, doing something, or buying something. Too many people spend money they earn to buy things they don’t want to impress people they don’t like. That’s a Will Rogers statement, and I always thought that was really pretty good.

I read a book a couple of years ago by Tiffany Aliche, who is also known as The Budgetnista. She’s amazing. I think she has a YouTube channel, and she had a podcast—she still has a podcast—and it’s called *Get Good With Money*. I liked this book so much. Like I said, I’m sort of drawing from some of my older podcasts once in a while to talk about one that really stuck with me, and this is one of them.

I wish I had this book back when I was having so much difficulty with money. No matter how many times my friends tried to talk to me about money, or I tried to think about money, it caused me to panic. I hated anything to do with money. It caused stress in my life. It made me not sleep at night. I was not paying my bills. I was poor most of my life, and I kept wondering, you know, what am I going to do about it?

Friends would come to me and say, “Jill, you have to start saving for retirement. You’re going to have nothing.” And I thought, how can I do that when I’m not even paying my bills? I was nervous about money all the time. You can ask my friends. I didn’t have a great savings account. I didn’t have an emergency savings account. They would try to talk me into that, and I’d say, “I can’t handle that right now.”

I operated in two ways. I would either panic about money or avoid it and pretend it didn’t exist. Those were my two modes. I finally got over those things, and now I’m able to talk about money in logical ways, which is great. My past dealings with bad money habits finally settled out, and I was able to gain some perspective.

This book would have helped me because of the way she explains things. It’s very practical and easy to do. It’s a very human way of dealing with money. She gives you the groundwork so you can start saving money, get your bills paid, eventually invest money, and then start saving for everything else—the trips or whatever it is you’re looking forward to.

She covers a lot of ground. I found the book very easy to read, and I actually enjoyed reading it, which for me, when it comes to money, was very hard. I used to panic all the time.

She talks about yelling at 20-year-old Tiffany, yelling at her younger self, just like I would yell at my own younger self. Sometimes we look at a different version of ourselves and wonder, how did this happen? How did I get here? How did I even think about things back then?

Right now, I’m going through a lot of my stuff at home—tossing things, giving things to charities—and I’ll think, “What was I thinking when I bought this?” or “Why did I buy that?” It can be a little depressing, because you’re tossing out things you had big dreams for but never really used. That’s kind of a bummer.

But it’s a skill we can get better at. That’s the biggest thing. You can get better at this.

When it comes to money, you have to surround yourself with positive reinforcement. Set things up in a way that makes you successful and helps you do the things you want to do. She says not to freak out about money or the mistakes you’ve made. They’re in the past. They’re already done.

I think about this while I’m cleaning out my house. I’ll think, “Oh my gosh, why did I buy this?” and it can get depressing. But she says it’s over. There’s no point in going back and getting upset about it. Just go forward doing better.

She talks about becoming a “towel person.” If water spills on your kitchen floor, you don’t freak out. You get a towel, wipe it up, and move on. You’re not mad at the floor or the person who spilled it. You just clean it up and go on with your day.

When we get better with money, we have to understand what it means to us and how it affects our moods and emotions. This isn’t even about becoming rich or retiring early or going on a dream vacation. It’s about becoming a solid person who doesn’t have anxiety about money all the time. When that happens, everything else falls into place.

The first thing you have to do is understand your influences with money. A lot of this comes from early family experiences. My earliest memory is that my parents never had money to pay bills. No matter how much help came in or how many paychecks arrived, it was gone immediately. We were poor again.

We couldn’t pay bills. We were deep in credit card debt. We worried constantly about taxes, car repairs, and emergencies. There was never money. It was all fear and stress.

When I grew up, I panicked about money. I didn’t believe I’d ever have a good future with it. It was always about survival—getting to the next bill, the next paycheck. She talks about understanding how money is wired in your brain.

In the first chapter, she talks about budgeting. Budgeting is a scary word. People think it’s going to ruin their fun, stop their trips, stop them from buying things they want. But that’s the wrong way to think about it. Budgeting is just about being honest. There’s no freak-out involved.

When I got out of college, my first job paid about $6.25 an hour. I was dirt poor. I avoided budgets completely. I didn’t want to look at numbers. I hopped from bill to bill, just hoping I had enough to cover the next one.

Her budgeting system is very low-key. It’s not about tracking every dollar perfectly. It’s about having a general idea of what’s coming in and what’s going out. If you can automate things or use an app to track spending, that helps.

You never “finish” budgeting. You do it slowly and reliably. There are good days and bad days. Bonuses happen. Bad bills happen. It’s long-term work.

She explains that budgeting isn’t about saying, “This money is mine and I can do whatever I want with it.” It’s about building something better. A better budget is built from the facts and figures of your finances. The good news is you already have everything you need to create your first budget.

The first close relationship with money comes when it stops being a terror. Knowledge replaces fear. Once you know where your money goes—even if it doesn’t add up—you can do something about it.

You write down what comes in: salary, bonuses, gifts, settlements. Then you write down what goes out: food, utilities, clothing, credit cards, memberships, and yearly expenses.

Banks can help with this. You can export data and see patterns. When I first started, a lot of my money went to places like Target and Amazon. I didn’t even know what I was buying.

Once you capture everything, you can calculate monthly costs. A yearly vet bill becomes a monthly amount. Things aren’t mysteries anymore.

Extra money like gifts still counts. Facing the music can be stressful, so she suggests making it comfortable—light a candle, play music, and start adding it up.

Once you have your budget, she suggests categorizing expenses. Bills are fixed. Usage bills have some flexibility. Cash spending is very flexible. This helps you see where you can make changes.

Some changes hurt a little at first, but they help long-term. I cut cable years ago. It took adjustment, but after a few months I never missed it.

Eating out, subscriptions, small daily habits—they add up. Even something like soda can be eye-opening when you total it for the year.

Usage bills like gas and electricity can often be reduced. Fixed bills are harder, but refinancing or changing providers can help.

She says the worst thing you can do is go dark on your budget or your creditors. Communication matters. People are more willing to work with you if you stay in touch.

She also suggests separating your money. Two checking accounts and two savings accounts. One for income, one for bills, one emergency savings, and one for goals.

Emergency savings should cover six months of expenses. It takes time, but it changes everything.

Automation helps, but control matters. I set minimum payments automatically and then manually pay extra. That way bills are covered, but I stay in charge.

Having systems brings peace of mind. Everything gets paid on time. The stress goes away.

Her ideas helped me take emotion out of money and replace it with clarity. If you’re struggling with money, this is a great place to start.

I appreciate you listening. Thank you for being out there. Have a great day.